The Cost of Always Proving Our Worth
Welcome to this week’s Beyond the Flight Deck, where I’m discussing a challenge that many women in aviation and aerospace face—and, frankly, any woman who’s worked in a male-dominated field. In this environment, women are often in a constant state of having to prove their worth, feeling the pressure to go above and beyond to show they belong. It’s a theme I know personally, and one I hear echoed time and again from women navigating careers in these spaces. This article explores not only the personal sacrifices that come with this relentless pressure but also the larger toll it takes on health, happiness, and the sense of self.
The Cost of Always Proving Our Worth
In male-dominated fields like aviation and aerospace, women face a unique challenge: the constant need to prove their worth. Whether we’re engineers, pilots, executives, or technicians, we often find ourselves in roles where we’re the only woman at the table or one of a few in the room. In these spaces, there’s an unspoken expectation that we must be exceptional—not only to excel in our jobs but to “justify” our place. For women, this often translates into bending over backwards, making sacrifices, and putting personal needs on hold just to keep up.
Women in these fields repeatedly share similar stories—whether it’s staying late, taking on additional projects, or remaining available 24/7, they feel the pressure to outperform to avoid being seen as less committed or less capable. There’s a belief that, to gain the same level of respect or recognition, we need to push a little harder, work a little longer, and be just a bit tougher. This pressure can be exhausting, and it doesn’t only impact us on a professional level; it often bleeds into our health, our personal lives, and our overall well-being.
It’s not enough to do the job well. We feel we must show, day in and day out, that we belong. And that drive to belong often means placing our lives on hold or sacrificing our well-being. Over time, this pressure becomes part of our experience, ingrained in the way we work, live, and interact in our careers. And while many of us share a passion for what we do, the weight of having to prove ourselves again and again can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even doubt about our place in the industry.
My Personal Story
I know these feelings well because I’ve lived them. The need to prove myself has been a constant companion throughout my career. I’ve been driven to overcompensate and to make sure I was always the hardest worker in the room. For me, this habit of pushing beyond my limits has shown up in ways I sometimes barely recognized at the time. But in hindsight, it’s clear how many sacrifices I made just to prove my worth.
One memory, in particular, stands out. The day after I underwent cancer surgery, I found myself "zooming" into a week-long sales meeting. Less than twenty-four hours after being in a hospital bed, I was back in “work mode,” dialed in to prove my commitment. I was battling a serious illness, but I still felt the need to show up, not to miss a beat, and prove my dedication. I convinced myself that my absence would be noticed, that stepping back, even briefly, could somehow jeopardize my position or perception within the company.
The toll of that week went far beyond fatigue. The physical pain was one thing; the emotional strain of forcing myself into that meeting while I should have been recovering, was overwhelming. I wanted to be seen as dependable, strong, and able to handle anything thrown my way. It wasn’t about pride—it was about fear. Fear of being seen as “weak,” as “incapable,” or as someone who couldn’t handle the demands of the job. And for what? So I could be perceived as someone who wouldn’t let anything, even cancer, interfere with my work.
The Pattern of Overcompensation
This wasn’t an isolated incident. For years, I felt the need to overcompensate, to constantly prove that I was as capable and dedicated as anyone else. I would be available around the clock, say yes to every request, and keep my own needs hidden. “Never show weakness” became my unspoken mantra. This pattern of overcompensation is something I see in countless other women I’ve worked with and coached. They, too, found themselves working through personal crises, sacrificing health, missing family milestones, and putting their own dreams aside just to avoid the stigma of “not being committed enough.”
It’s exhausting and unsustainable. And yet, many women in these industries feel they have little choice. With fewer of us in these rooms, we feel the need to prove that we deserve our seat at the table. This unspoken pressure to overcompensate becomes part of our professional lives, woven into the fabric of our careers, and often reinforced by the subtle messages we receive about our roles and our value.
The Impact on Health and Well-being
The toll of constantly bending over backwards is significant. The impact on mental, physical, and emotional health is real and cumulative. In my own journey, I eventually realized that this wasn’t a sustainable path. Years of meeting these unrealistic demands, of proving myself over and over, had added up. The anxiety, the burnout, and the feeling of being “on call” 24/7 left scars that took a long time to heal. The constant pressure to be perfect and “always on” became so ingrained that I didn’t notice the toll until I was already running on empty.
And I know I’m not alone. Many of us have reached breaking points where we’ve had to reconsider everything. Some of us have been forced to take medical leave, others have reconsidered our entire career paths, and still others have felt isolated and unsupported. The reality is, this pressure to prove our worth is not only exhausting; it’s damaging. And it’s something that companies need to recognize and address.
The Need for Systemic Change
The real issue isn’t just personal—it’s systemic. Many organizations operate with a mindset that values employees who are “always available,” who push beyond their limits, and who say yes to everything. This way of thinking doesn’t only hurt individuals; it ultimately damages the entire workplace. When companies expect their employees to constantly prove their worth, they create environments that foster burnout rather than sustainability. When the culture only rewards overperformance and constant availability, it sends a message that well-being is secondary.
For workplaces to genuinely value their employees, they must recognize that boundaries, health, and well-being aren’t just buzzwords—they’re essential. A culture of overperformance should not be the benchmark for commitment. Organizations need to assess how they measure value and success and recognize the difference between dedication and overextension.
A Call for Leaders to Reflect
I encourage leaders and executives reading this to reflect on their own company cultures and how they define value and commitment. Instead of relying on constant overperformance, let’s focus on recognizing the quality of work and the humanity of our people. Value shouldn’t be measured by what someone is willing to sacrifice but by the meaningful contributions they bring. Leaders must take steps to support their employees’ well-being and create environments where they feel valued without the need to overcompensate.
To My Fellow Women in Aviation and Aerospace
To those who, like me, have spent their careers bending over backwards, I urge you to take a moment to reflect. Are we sacrificing too much? Is the constant need to prove ourselves truly worth it? Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries, to advocate for our health, and to expect workplaces to respect those needs. Our worth isn’t measured by what we’re willing to give up but by the unique skills, perspectives, and talents we bring to the table. We shouldn’t have to compromise our lives or health to be valued in our work.
For years, I saw my value as directly tied to how much I could withstand or sacrifice. I’ve come to realize that my value isn’t defined by how much I bend or break. Sharing this story, I hope, encourages other women to find their boundaries and embrace their worth without feeling the need to constantly prove themselves. We belong in these spaces—not because of what we’ve sacrificed, but because of who we are and what we can achieve without compromising our well-being.
Does This Sound Familiar?
Are you constantly bending yourself into a pretzel to prove your value? You’re not alone, and it doesn’t have to be this way.
Let’s connect for a quick, 20-minute call. We’ll discuss strategies to break free from the cycle of overcompensation and build a career path that truly values your unique contributions—without the need to sacrifice your well-being. Schedule your call here. Let’s start building a future where your worth isn’t measured by what you sacrifice but by the impact you bring.