When a Connection Comes With a Litmus Test

Not long ago, I sent a straightforward and respectful connection request to an aviation executive on LinkedIn:

“With a 37-year career in aviation and aerospace, I am on a mission to exponentially increase the number of women in these industries. I would very much like to connect with you.”

That was it. Clear, professional, and purpose-driven.

His response?

“Who did you vote for in the last presidential election?”

Just like that, my entire career—decades of leadership, technical expertise, flight testing, mission control, board service, and mentorship—was reduced to a single question. A gate. A loyalty test. A trap.

Let me be clear:

I wasn’t reaching out to talk politics.

I wasn’t asking for an endorsement.

I was asking for a conversation—one professional to another.

But instead of a handshake, I got a litmus test.

And it stopped me in my tracks—not because I haven’t seen this behavior before, but because it’s so normalized that we barely flinch anymore.

This moment wasn’t about me personally. It was a snapshot of a much bigger pattern:

When women—especially women trying to lead change—step forward in male-dominated spaces, we are often met not with curiosity, but with suspicion.

Not with “Tell me more,” but “Prove you’re one of us.”

This isn't about politics. This is about power.

Because when the first thing someone asks is who you voted for, what they’re really saying is:

• Can I box you in before you challenge me?

• Do you align with my worldview enough for me to respect you?

• Should I listen—or prepare to defend myself?

It’s not about building something together.

It’s about deciding who’s “safe” to hear out—and who’s too threatening to engage.

That’s not leadership. That’s gatekeeping.

And let me tell you—those gates have been standing for too long in aviation and aerospace.

Women in this industry have passed enough tests.

We’ve been:

• The only woman in the room

• The only woman on the team

• The one asked to take notes, even though we were leading the meeting

• The one told to “smile more” or “slow down”

• The one who got promoted after proving ourselves ten times over—then watched a man with half the experience get a title twice as fast

And still, we show up. We lead. We speak up. Not to tear down the system—but to make it better.

So when we’re met with these litmus tests—designed not to understand, but to dismiss—we feel it in our gut. Because we’ve been here before. And we know exactly what it is.

Here’s what I want every woman reading this to remember:

• You don’t owe anyone an explanation for wanting to lead.

• You don’t have to shrink yourself to make someone else comfortable.

• You don’t have to prove your worth to people committed to misunderstanding you.

• You are not required to earn the respect that should have come with your resume.

And here’s what I want the men in this industry—especially those in leadership—to ask themselves:

• Do I give women the same benefit of the doubt I give men?

• Do I meet new voices with openness—or with filters and assumptions?

• Do I treat equity work as a threat to my influence—or an opportunity to make the system stronger?

Because if your first reaction to a woman’s leadership is suspicion, you’re not defending anything noble. You’re defending a status quo that’s overdue for disruption.

We’re not asking for your permission anymore.

We’re building our own networks.

We’re mentoring the next generation.

We’re showing women what’s possible—without compromise.

And we’ll keep building the runway—whether we’re invited to the control tower or not.

So to the executive who asked me who I voted for?

I vote for women.

I vote for courage.

I vote for integrity over comfort, inclusion over ego, and progress over politics.

And I cast that vote every day, not at a ballot box—but in every room I walk into, every conversation I start, and every woman I choose to lift up.

This is what leading looks like now. If that feels threatening, you might want to buckle up.

We’re just getting started.

The Elevate Initiative

At The Elevate Initiative, we’re building a new standard for leadership in aviation and aerospace—one that actively attracts, retains, and advances women. Through programs like NAVIGATE™ and The Lift Circle, we help women reclaim their power, their voice, and their visibility in systems that often push them to the margins.

Resource

If this story resonated with you—or if you’ve faced something similar—there’s a resource waiting for you:

👉 Request your free copy of the DEI Backlash Career Survival Guide

It’s filled with actionable tools to help you stay protected, visible, and in control—no matter what the workplace throws your way.

We’re not here to play by the old rules. We’re here to write new ones